Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Somebody Needs Phonics

They've jumped off the cliff, all right:


Next time you pay your local taxes to finance the public schools, remember what you're paying for: a failed education system.


Remember this?

Is she still thinking that way?

I hope that gas goes to $10 a gallon IF that price will get that weasel out of the Oval Office.

Suffer now to avoid a flood of suffering later.

Black Sheep wrote:
That which isn’t made of plastic, from petroleum, still has to be transported by petroleum fuels.
Americans are going to have to learn the hard way that they should never have voted for Barack HUSSEIN Obama.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

The Value of Push Ups

A drunk staggers into a bar and demands a beer.

He argues back and forth with the bartender, who refuses to serve the drunk.

Finally, the bartender challenges him to get on the floor and do 20 push ups to prove his sobriety.

As the drunk is doing the push ups, another drunk staggers in. He surveys the scene for a minute, pokes the guy in the ribs with his shoe, and says, "Hey, fella! I think you're girlfriend has gone home."

(adapted from A Guys Walks into a Bar by Michael Lewis)

Thursday, February 23, 2012

King Obama?

Not if voters in November have anything to say about it!

From Will's site:

The man who would be king is really this:

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Friday, February 17, 2012

Reasons That Democrat Voters Cast Their Ballots

Mrs. AOW got the following list via email:

When your "friends" cannot explain why they voted for Democrats, give them this list. They can then pick their reasons from this "TOP 12"...

1. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas

are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 43% isn't.

2. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of

spending the money I earn than I would.

3. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is

offended by it.

4. I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know

that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

5. I vote Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

6. I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

7. I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.

8. I vote Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

9. I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

10. I vote Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle or gopher.

11. I vote Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I was promised "HOPE AND CHANGE". (actually I thought I was going to get free gas and a house).

This is the one that really says why they vote Democrat.

12. I vote Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my rear it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.

Monday, February 13, 2012

The Perfect Gift For Valentine's Day

So that this post would go up on my blog, Mrs. AOW tricked me into telling her what will be arriving by 8:00 PM on Valentine's Day.

Damn blogging.

Well, at least she doesn't know which collection of Shari's Berries will be arriving. And she doesn't know what the card says.

Can't keep a secret around this house!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Friday, February 10, 2012

Restricting Fun On The Beach

I grew up in Southern California and went to the beach all the time.

Times were freer then.

Now, the beach has become a place of less freedom:
beach-goers may toss balls and Frisbees with Lifegauds permission on beaches in Los Angeles County between Memorial Day and Labor Day.
Back in the day, we knew how to behave ourselves at the beach. And we didn't need permission from lifeguards to send those Frisbees sailing through the air.

My Identity

I read the guidelines the other day and found out that I'm a vagitarian.

My wife already knew.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Unsuccessful Pickup

A guy spots a pretty girl at the end of the bar. He approaches her and yells over the music, "Would you like to dance?"

"I really don't like this song," she answers. "And even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you."

"I guess you didn't hear me over all this noise. I said, 'You look fat in those pants.'"

(from A Guy Walks into a Michael Lewis)

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Blonde Jokes

Q: What is the mating call of a blonde?

A: "I am sooooooo drunk."

Another joke below the fold....