Saturday, December 31, 2011

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Can't Blame This School

Parents have legitimate rights to complain and to make inquiries. But apparently the parents at this school went too far:

My parents didn't whine at the school when I didn't do my homework. Instead, I got an ass beating!

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Money Down The Drain

All of this in 2011! The government just LOVES to piss away the taxpayers' money!

10. $764,825 for a study on how college students use cell phones and social media  [College students abuse cell phones and social media and then flunk out from lack of studying]

9. $136,555 for teachers to retrace Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales in England

8. $55,660 on butter packaging

7. $606,000 for a study about online dating  [People need to figure out their own strategies for their own screwing parties]

6. $484,000 for a pizza restaurant

5. $48,700 towards the Second Annual Hawaii Chocolate Festival

4. $147,138 to build a magic museum

3. $96,000 on iPads for kindergarteners  [It took years for Mrs. AOW, a taxpayer, years to save up for my iPad.  I sure as hell was older than a kindergartener when I got MY iPad]

2. $175,587 for a study on the link between cocaine and the mating habits of quail  [Where are these coke-snorting quails?]

1. $130,987 for dragon robots  [What are these things?]

Details about each of the above points HERE.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Merry Christmas!

When Mrs. AOW asked me, "What is your favorite Christmas carol?" I picked this one:

This evening, Mrs. AOW and I plan to go to her cousin's house to celebrate Christmas with food and gifts. And beer and wine, too. I hope that it doesn't snow because getting me out and about in the snow is impossible.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

My Christmas Miracle

It happened around midnight on Christmas Eve in 1993. I'll never forget that moment!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

"Jingle Bells"

Like Mrs. AOW, I love to hear Dean Martin sing. His version of "Jingle Bells" is smooth, just like good sippin' whiskey:

The perfect tune for the first official day of winter.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

And Most People Won't Know!

60 Minutes edited out Obama's boast from the show's broadcast on December 11, 2011:

I still can't believe that the American people elected this jerk with the middle name "Hussein"! Now he tells us that he's one of the best Presidents ever. Who believes THAT? Only a moron!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Teacher's Pet

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted fruit.

The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she guessed. "No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, " Champagne ?"

"No," said the little boy............."It's a puppy!"

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Out And About Today

Today, Mrs. AOW and I are going Christmas shopping at one of the big local malls.

We're biting the bullet and hiring a private handicapped taxi, so that I can take my own scooter to the mall and to save Mrs. AOW's back from having to push me around in a wheelchair. 

This area does have a paratransit service for the handicapped, but it left a friend and me stranded when we went to a gun show.  A horrible experience.  The paratransit service, I mean.

While at the mall, Mrs. AOW and I will also be eating at one of the restaurants there. I'm really looking forward to this outing!  Especially with Mrs. AOW. 

And I get another outing on Friday when one of the guys is taking me to the local VFW for a pool tournament.  There will be food, food, food.  And beer.

Mrs. AOW and I don't have a lot to buy on our shopping trip today. Our circle of friends is quite small since I had a stroke over two years ago.

We already got our wonderful neighbors their Christmas gift, thanks to Woodsterman. He made the walnut weedpot below to our specifications:

A unique gift that will look great in our neighbors' house! It's furnished with antiques, and our neighbors are partial to walnut.

Learn more about Woodsterman's work HERE and HERE.  Great stuff!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Ain't It The Truth!

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity scene in the United States' capital this Christmas season.

This isn't for religious reasons. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the nation's capitol.

The search for a virgin continues.

However, there was no problem finding enough asses to fill the stable.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Blue Collar Comedy Christmas

I always get a kick out of Larry the Cable Guy:

And here's one from Jeff Foxworthy:

I have a Mustang GT convertible, so I love that part of the song.

Most Christmases, Mrs. AOW does get me something Mustang related, even though I haven't driven since my stroke.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Glenn Beck Has This One Right

The woman took her pants off too many times, and now she wants somebody else to pay for her screwing parties:

Beck's money quote:
Lady. Did you have your pants off maybe too many times in your life? Is that possible? Is it possible? What are you out doing? What are your children out doing? I’d like to know. How many of them are even mowing somebody’s lawn? How many of them are actually out trying to take any job, any job? Not a good job. Any job. What is it you have done? Have you thought about birth control? Here’s an idea. Have you thought about marrying a man?

Have you thought about marrying a man or not having kids with a man who isn’t going to jail? Have you thought about, you know, maybe we should slow down on the sex thing? Accountable? I’m not accountable for your life. I am accountable for my life. I have been working my ass off, lady. What have you been doing?”

Friday, December 2, 2011

Judas Asparagus

(With thanks to Will, who emailed me the joke below)

A child was asked to write a book report on the entire Bible.

Through the eyes of a child:

The Children's Bible in a Nutshell

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did.

Then God made the world.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Cars And Music

I've owned two Lincoln Town Cars in my life. Neither of those big boats was a hot rod. Too bad.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

This Is My Kind Of News!

From Mrs. AOW's recent post "GQ Disses Obama" at THE ASTUTE BLOGGERS:

From NewsBusters:
President Barack Obama and MSNBC's Ed Schultz have been named to GQ magazine's annual list of "The 25 Least Influential People Alive."


...Obama came in 25th....
I love getting this kind of news before breakfast. Really stimulates my appetite and makes me eager to get to the ballot box in November 2012!

I plan to get a copy of the December 2011 edition of GQ. I want to support GQ's advertisers.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

The Scarlet Letter Updated

People that voted for Nobama should have to wear a scarlet "A" all the time.

The "A" stands for a$$hole.

How could any American vote for someone with the middle name "Hussein"?

Yeah, I'm an opinionated old geezer.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

No Decency, No Respect

Back in the day, when I used to put up our outdoor Christmas decorations, I'd have hunted down the thieves and given them the ass whipping of their lives because that's what they deserve:

[print story for the above]

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. We have two invitations, and we've accepted both. That means that we'll eat an early-afternoon dinner and also an evening dinner. I will get some of that good fall-asleep turkey so that I can watch the football games with my eyes closed -- as usual.

The first dinner will be at our neighbor's house. What a feast they will have! The hostess is from Georgia and can really cook up a feast fit for a king.  But the really entertaining part of the celebration at our neighbor's house will be finding out what idiocy our liberal neighbor's Leftwing son, has come up with this year.  He is a staunch Obama supporter and still proudly sports his Obama 2008 stupidity sticker on his parents' old Saturn station wagon.  This 41 year old will not work for "the man," so he takes handouts from his capitalistic parents.  Go figure.  He's bringing his new girlfriend, who is a fire dancer. Apparently, she is going to perform. Heh.

The second dinner will be at the ritzy home of one of Mrs. AOW's homeschool families. This feast will have both traditional American Thanksgiving food and Chinese food because the family is from China.  Mrs. AOW cannot refuse an invitation from homeschool parents -- especially the Chinese, as they bow with great respect to teachers and view refusing an invitation as an insult.  Besides, I want to eat the food there!

Getting two meals on Thanksgiving Day will make up for my missed dinner on November 18, when I went to a gun show and the damn handicapped transport van left a friend and me (He's also handicapped) stranded for hours. By the time we finally got back to the house, it was too late to eat dinner.  It's a wonder that we didn't have to spend the night in the expensive hotel near the convention center where the gun show was being held.

Happy Thanksgiving to all who stop by my blog!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Supercommitte

The Supercommitte has thrown up their hands, and these Congress critters say that they can't do the job.

I say that we should throw up our hands and not pay them one more red cent.

Get ready for another downgrade of the U.S. credit rating thanks to these Ivory Tower losers who are supposed to represent us.

Next thing you know, banks will be charging us to keep our savings in the banks.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Blast From The Past

As a teenager, I had this 45 in my collection:

Do any of you remember this one?

Friday, November 18, 2011

A Great Toe Tapper

The song may not be historically accurate, but the words and the music sure are fun:

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

The Problem With Education Today

There once was a student named Besser
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser.
It grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And today he's a college professor.

(from The Mammoth Book of Jokes, edited by Geoff Tibballs)

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Friday, November 11, 2011

Veterans Day

Most Americans don't begin to appreciate our military veterans enough.

Only lately, did I, a veteran, ever hear "Thanks for serving." In fact, the first time I was ever thanked for my service was at a Gathering of Eagles event in 2005. I served during the Vietnam War Era.

Today, on this Veterans Day, or any day for that matter, say "Thank you!" to an American veteran.

Veterans of Foreign Wars web site

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Sunday, November 6, 2011

I Despise Obama

HERE is just one more reason that I despise Obama.

I'm glad that I'm not serving in the military right now.

I couldn't stand Obama as my commander in chief.

I'm glad that my father, who served in World War II, isn't around now to see what's happening to America.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Time For Humor

Did you hear the one about the guy that wanted to become a bisexual?

He figured that if he became a bisexual he could double his chances for a date on Saturday night.

(from The Mammoth Book of Jokes, edited by Geoff Tibballs)

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Pure Stupidity To Continue This

As a lifelong coin collector and a former coin dealer, I find these coins unique in that they have the date, mint mark, and motto on the edge of the coin. This placement of the engraving has never been produced before by the U.S. Mint and brings the idea of three sides to a coin to a new level. I'd personally like to see the series completed, but the good idea has flopped and is costing the taxpayers too much money now:

(Hat tip to Z! for the above video)

Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween!

I love music from the 50s and 60s.

Mrs. AOW found the following Halloween video set to the music of "Monster Mash," a tune from the 60s:

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Leftards And Diapers

A sh*tty idea:

Get back to paying for what you use and not paying for things you don't use.  The Diaper Act is a Communistic idea.

Saturday, October 29, 2011


Global warming? These must be big global-warming flakes I see outside my window.


Friday, October 28, 2011

Stayin' Alive

The morning after scene from Grumpier Old Men:

I am a grumpy old man. Hehehe.

Today is my birthday.  It's good to be alive.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Friday Night Out

Tonight, my good friend Steve will be taking me to the VFW for the evening. The club is having a pool tournament. I watch but don't play, of course. I do play the Megamaster.

When I get an evening out with the guys, I have to catch up on sleep for the next few days.

Having a big stroke really takes the wind out of your sails! But I'm glad to be alive.

And Mrs. AOW gets a break when I go out with Steve. She deserves lots of breaks.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Ironing Out The Details

From Always On Watch:

My iPad experts are working on exactly how to configure Mr. AOW's iPad. We need to decide whether to go with just wifi or also add 3G.

3G will allow Mr. AOW to access his iPad almost everywhere! He could share information with his buddies at the VFW and elsewhere.

Meanwhile, I'm getting iPad lessons from my guru. "J" really knows his stuff!