Time for humor

I got a new joke book for Christmas: The Ultimate Bathroom Joke Book.

The entire first chapter is filled with jokes that are "Short and Snappy."

 Here are a few one liners from the book:

Nothing sucks more than that moment in an argument when you realize you're wrong.

A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it into the food.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

Save the earth! It's the only planet with chocolate!

Cat truths

Why humans can never outsmart cats:

Time for humor & happy new year

(humor for the new year, with thanks to Big Bubba)

I pointed to two "old farts" across the bar from us and told my friend Herbie."That'll be us in ten years."

So he turned to me and said, "That's a mirror, you dummy."

True, dat!

Happy New Year, anyway.

Merry Christmas!

For the first time since the stroke I had in 2009, Mrs. AOW and I have a normal social calendar for Christmas!

We're busy, busy, busy - and it's a good kind of busy. So busy that I haven't had much time for blogging.

Life is for living.

Merry Christmas!

And Merry Christmas to Mysti, Cameo, and Amber - our three kitties. Maybe they'll watch this video:


Nah. They're too busy eating to watch videos.

I won the raffle!

No, not a car and not a vacation.

I won 10 lbs. of Kunzler's Bacon!

Kunzler has a great reputation.

We had bacon and eggs this morning for Sunday Breakfast. I'm sure that we'll be having lots of bacon for breakfasts now. And probably for lunch and dinner too.

Bacon was one of the two raffle prizes. The other prize was a computer tablet - or some such.

I'm glad that I won the bacon instead! I already have an iPad, which I use mostly to look up coin information and for listening to Blue Collar Radio.

Politically incorrect Christmas

Larry the Cable Guy (hat tip to Will):


One of my favorite ways to pass the time is to listen to Blue Collar Radio on my iPad. Laughter is the best medicine!

A bit of Christmas humor

(with thanks to Texas Fred for the first one)

An oldie but a goodie, and I once got a Christmas card like this:

Time for humor

Holiday humor, that is (thanks to Mustang, who emailed the joke to Mrs. AOW):

With the holidays upon us, I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.  As you know, some of us have been known to have brushes with local authorities from time to time on the way home after a social session with friends. 

Two days ago, I was out for an evening with friends.  I had several cocktails, some nice red wine, and later on in the evening, a couple of boilermakers.  I was not only feeling jolly, I was damn ripped.  That is when I did something that I’ve never done before.  I took a cab home. 

Sure enough, on my way home I encountered a police checkpoint, but since I was riding in a cab, they just waived it past the checkpoint and I arrived home without incident.  This was a real surprise to me since I had never driven a cab before.  I don’t know where I got it, and I don’t know what to do with it.  If anyone is looking for a good deal on a used cab, give me a call; it’s sitting in my garage.

It looks like Christmas here!

One of many photos Mrs. AOW took on Saturday

It snowed some yesterday, and our house looks even more like Christmas!  Outside and inside!  Mrs. AOW decorated the inside last week.

This photo doesn't begin to show what all Decorate A Vet has done for us on Saturday - and before then, too.

Mrs. AOW has explained a bit more at her site.

Over 100 people were here on Saturday to bring us a Merry Christmas. I was even interviewed by two different local TV channels!  But I look like an old man in front of that camera.

Well, I am an old man!

But Saturday was a great day.  Too bad that the Decorate A Vet dinner banquet planned for yesterday had to be canceled because of the icy roads.  Maybe they'll reschedule it. The best part of Saturday was being around so many people.

From local news coverage here in the D.C. area this morning (graphic added by AOW):

Ballsey Biscuits

Down in the cul-de-sac lives an English Bull Boxer. His given name is Balls.

I call him Ballsey.

He's very friendly.

Definitely not a fighting dog!

And he never leaves his property.  He never barks either!

But he sees me coming down the street, he dances around, wags his tail, and whines until I get up close to him in his driveway.

Ballsey looks a lot like this - except that he wears an electronic collar:

He stays inside most of the time.

When the weather is nice, I ride my scooter down the street and give Ballsey as many dog biscuits that I can carry in the basket of my scooter.

Ballsey hates the cold, so he's not outside much this time of year.

I wish that we had a dog.