Monday, January 27, 2014

Brrrr!


News reports are saying that we're having the coldest month of the century.

I believe it!

The snowy owl has even returned to Washington:

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

People say stupid things

I got a new Page-A-Day Calendar for Christmas - The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said. Here are a few items from the calendar:

The Newlywed Show host Bob Eubanks: What is your favorite thing to buy by the foot?

Contestant: Shoes.


Support your parish rummage sale—a good chance to get rid of things not worth keeping but too good to throw away. Bring your husband.

(church bulletin announcement)


Hospital receptionist: Yes?

Patient: I’m here to register for my autopsy.

(conversation at a hospital registration desk)

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Time for humor

I got a new joke book for Christmas: The Ultimate Bathroom Joke Book.

The entire first chapter is filled with jokes that are "Short and Snappy."

 Here are a few one liners from the book:

Nothing sucks more than that moment in an argument when you realize you're wrong.

A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it into the food.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

Save the earth! It's the only planet with chocolate!