Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Time for humor

I got a new joke book for Christmas: The Ultimate Bathroom Joke Book.

The entire first chapter is filled with jokes that are "Short and Snappy."

 Here are a few one liners from the book:

Nothing sucks more than that moment in an argument when you realize you're wrong.

A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it into the food.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.

Save the earth! It's the only planet with chocolate!


Will MFS said...

Sounds like a great book :)

I always go for these kinds of books at my barber he's got a few laying around for his costumers.

Have a great & Healthy and Happy New year !

Anonymous said...

All true, especially the last one!
I hate to disagree with a Founding Father, but...Ben Franklin has said, "...that beer was proof that GOD loves us and wants us to be happy." WRONG! CHOCOLATE is proof that GOD loves us and wants us to be happy!!!!


Kid said...

Never put off til tomorrow what you can put off til next month.

Duckys here said...

New England Home

The AOW's bought an old home in Vermont from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and Mrs. AOW was concerned about the house's lack of insulation.
"If they could live here all those years, so can we!" Mr. AOW confidently declared.
One December night the temperature plunged to below zero, and they woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. Mr. AOW called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm.
After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."

Mr. AOW said...

Good one! Thx.

Going to Florida sounds like a good idea right about now. Freezing our asses off here! Mrs. AOW is too sick to care about frozen asses but she at least turns up the heat.

Woodsterman (Odie) said...

Good Book Mr!

Anonymous said...

Ducky-Good one! LOL.
One of the bennies of living in Florida, YOU NEVER HAVE TO SHOVEL RAIN!


mohave rat said...

A penguin's car brakes down and it is towed to a mechanic. The mechanic tells the penguin to go across the street and get some ice cream or something while he waits. In a little while the penguin comes back to check on the progress.The mechanic says" I think you blew a seal!" Penguin wipes his beak and says, "no, that's just ice cream!"

Have a great day my friend! the rat