Time for Humor

A trooper pulled a car over on a quiet country road. As he walked up to the driver, he said, “Excuse me, ma’am, but why were you driving erratically? You were weaving all over the road.”

“Thank goodness you’re here, officer!” she gasped. “I almost had an accident. I looked up, and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to avoid it but there was another tree. I swerved to avoid that one and there was another. It was terrifying!”

Calmly, the officer reached through the window to the rearview mirror and said, “Ma’am, there was no tree. It was your air freshener.”

(from Page-A-Day Calendars)

I hate those pine-tree air fresheners for cars.

Can't Blame This School

Parents have legitimate rights to complain and to make inquiries. But apparently the parents at this school went too far:



My parents didn't whine at the school when I didn't do my homework. Instead, I got an ass beating!

Glenn Beck Has This One Right

The woman took her pants off too many times, and now she wants somebody else to pay for her screwing parties:





Beck's money quote:

Lady. Did you have your pants off maybe too many times in your life? Is that possible? Is it possible? What are you out doing? What are your children out doing? I’d like to know. How many of them are even mowing somebody’s lawn? How many of them are actually out trying to take any job, any job? Not a good job. Any job. What is it you have done? Have you thought about birth control? Here’s an idea. Have you thought about marrying a man?


Have you thought about marrying a man or not having kids with a man who isn’t going to jail? Have you thought about, you know, maybe we should slow down on the sex thing? Accountable? I’m not accountable for your life. I am accountable for my life. I have been working my ass off, lady. What have you been doing?”

[source]