Merry Christmas!

For the first time since the stroke I had in 2009, Mrs. AOW and I have a normal social calendar for Christmas!

We're busy, busy, busy - and it's a good kind of busy. So busy that I haven't had much time for blogging.

Life is for living.

Merry Christmas!

And Merry Christmas to Mysti, Cameo, and Amber - our three kitties. Maybe they'll watch this video:


Nah. They're too busy eating to watch videos.

Politically incorrect Christmas

Larry the Cable Guy (hat tip to Will):


One of my favorite ways to pass the time is to listen to Blue Collar Radio on my iPad. Laughter is the best medicine!

A bit of Christmas humor

(with thanks to Texas Fred for the first one)

An oldie but a goodie, and I once got a Christmas card like this:

It looks like Christmas here!

One of many photos Mrs. AOW took on Saturday

It snowed some yesterday, and our house looks even more like Christmas!  Outside and inside!  Mrs. AOW decorated the inside last week.

This photo doesn't begin to show what all Decorate A Vet has done for us on Saturday - and before then, too.

Mrs. AOW has explained a bit more at her site.

Over 100 people were here on Saturday to bring us a Merry Christmas. I was even interviewed by two different local TV channels!  But I look like an old man in front of that camera.

Well, I am an old man!

But Saturday was a great day.  Too bad that the Decorate A Vet dinner banquet planned for yesterday had to be canceled because of the icy roads.  Maybe they'll reschedule it. The best part of Saturday was being around so many people.

From local news coverage here in the D.C. area this morning (graphic added by AOW):

Settling in for a long winter's nap

After all the Christmas goodies on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, Amber, the kitten that Mrs. AOW and I got a few months ago, and I have settled in for our long winter's nap:

Amber has celebrated her first Christmas. What a hoot!

On Christmas Eve, she freaked out when she saw those big flakes of snow flying around.

On Christmas morning, Amber got so excited about her Christmas present - a catnip toy - that she flipped up in the air and came down in her water dish! Mrs. AOW couldn't grab the camera in time, of course. Amber was off and running to get away from all that spilled water.

Amber in her kitty hut:

Christmas Surprise

Sometimes, when I go to the VFW, I throw a few bucks into the football pool.  Just to join in with the guys.  I hardly ever win the pool.

Yesterday, I won the pool for the second quarter of the Redskins game!

Because the VFW is closed for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, I won't collect until Wednesday at the earliest.

When I do collect, I'm going to give Mrs. AOW the 50 bucks.  I never know what to buy her for Christmas.  This year was worse than most years because, ever since she lost all that weight over the summer, she doesn't even want candy anymore!  Candy used to be my old standby for something to give her.

Of course, Christmas is really about the Best Surprise of all:


MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Christmas humor

(hat tip to Texas Fred for the joke below)

Dear Santa,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas,

Timmy

**********

Dear Timmy

Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.*

Merry Christmas,

Santa Claus

**********

Mr. Claus,

Seeing that I have fulfilled the "Naughty vs. Nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?

Respectfully,

Timmy

**********

Timmy,

While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided.

Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court.

Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

Very Truly Yours,

S Claus

**********

Now look here Fat Man,

I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you’re just disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want.

WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!

T-Bone

**********

Listen Pizza Face,

Seriously? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny gang banger wannabe?

"He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake".

Sound familiar, genius?

You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal? I got your shit wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement.

You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your ass and then walk it dry.

Chew on that, Petunia.

S Clizzy

**********

Dear Santa,

Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.

Timmy

**********

Timmy,

That's what I thought you’d say you little bastard.

Santa

Santa put that little punk in his place, huh?

Christmas music

This 1963 version by the Ronettes always makes me smile:

Christmas Poem

I couldn't resist stealing this original poem!

From FreeThinke:

Holiday Howl

There’s nothing to tout.
There’s nothing to buy.
The stores have run out.
Your funds have run dry.

Baracklaus Has Captured Our Town!

For his mill you’re just grist.
He thinks fun’s a crime,
So he clenches his fist,
When you seek a good time.

Baracklaus Has Captured Our Town!

He monitors your reaping.
He’ll ration what you take.
The things that you try keeping
He will grab for others’ sake!

So, you’d better not sing,
You’d better not dance.
Obama’s the King,
He might look askance.

Baracklaus Upon You Will Frown.
Baracklaus Has Captured Our Town!

He’s the stick-thin man
With the big black ears.

HE’S CAPTURED OUR TOWN!

~ FreeThinke 12/10/12

Christmas Shopping

Today is the first day of Mrs. AOW's Christmas vacation, so we're going Christmas shopping at one of the big local malls.  I am looking forward to having a day out!

This will be an all day trip. We'll eat lunch at the mall, too.

I am so much better this year, so this shopping trip should be much easier than any we have taken in the past.

I plan to shop for myself at the bookstore.  I need some new joke books!

Mrs. AOW has a few items that she wants to get at Macy's.  While she's occupied with looking for those items, I'm going to look around the mall to see if I can find a Christmas present for her.  She has mentioned a few things that she'd like to have.

Mrs. AOW is going to drive the Crown Vic to the mall. That way, we'll have a place to put the packages. She will likely have to make several trips to the parked car so that we don't have to lug packages all over the place. Besides, if we have our own car at the mall, that way we don't have a coming-home time already set and can take our time with this expedition.

I will travel to the mall on MetroAcess, and Mrs. AOW will meet me there. I'll be using my scooter for this shopping expedition.

Merry Christmas!

When Mrs. AOW asked me, "What is your favorite Christmas carol?" I picked this one:



This evening, Mrs. AOW and I plan to go to her cousin's house to celebrate Christmas with food and gifts. And beer and wine, too. I hope that it doesn't snow because getting me out and about in the snow is impossible.

My Christmas Miracle

It happened around midnight on Christmas Eve in 1993. I'll never forget that moment!

Cats Make Christmas Special

Enjoy:

"Jingle Bells"

Like Mrs. AOW, I love to hear Dean Martin sing. His version of "Jingle Bells" is smooth, just like good sippin' whiskey:



The perfect tune for the first official day of winter.

Great Christmas Video!

This video honors the season and our military (hat tip to Brooke):

Out And About Today

Today, Mrs. AOW and I are going Christmas shopping at one of the big local malls.

We're biting the bullet and hiring a private handicapped taxi, so that I can take my own scooter to the mall and to save Mrs. AOW's back from having to push me around in a wheelchair. 

This area does have a paratransit service for the handicapped, but it left a friend and me stranded when we went to a gun show.  A horrible experience.  The paratransit service, I mean.

While at the mall, Mrs. AOW and I will also be eating at one of the restaurants there. I'm really looking forward to this outing!  Especially with Mrs. AOW. 

And I get another outing on Friday when one of the guys is taking me to the local VFW for a pool tournament.  There will be food, food, food.  And beer.

Mrs. AOW and I don't have a lot to buy on our shopping trip today. Our circle of friends is quite small since I had a stroke over two years ago.

We already got our wonderful neighbors their Christmas gift, thanks to Woodsterman. He made the walnut weedpot below to our specifications:

A unique gift that will look great in our neighbors' house! It's furnished with antiques, and our neighbors are partial to walnut.

Learn more about Woodsterman's work HERE and HERE.  Great stuff!

Ain't It The Truth!

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity scene in the United States' capital this Christmas season.

This isn't for religious reasons. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the nation's capitol.

The search for a virgin continues.

However, there was no problem finding enough asses to fill the stable.

A Christmas Tradition

For me, anyway:



[the story behind the song]

Blue Collar Comedy Christmas

I always get a kick out of Larry the Cable Guy:



And here's one from Jeff Foxworthy:



I have a Mustang GT convertible, so I love that part of the song.

Most Christmases, Mrs. AOW does get me something Mustang related, even though I haven't driven since my stroke.