Monday, April 30, 2012

Accurate and Humorous Definitions

(From The Mammoth Book of Jokes)

Health: the slowest possible rate of dying.

Judge: a law student who marks his own paper.

Tomorrow: the day you were going to clean out the garage.

Honesty: the fear of being caught.

Dust: mud with the juice squeezed out.

Wedding ring: the world's smallest pair of handcuffs.

Inflation: What used to cost $20 to buy now costs $40 to repair.

Justice: a decision in your favor.

Hanging: a suspended sentence.

Tomcat:: a ball bearing mousetrap.


Woodsterman (Odie) said...

All good ... and that last one purr-fect.

Ron Russell said...

Like Odie, I like that last one best. But for those who don't know female cats are the best mouse-catchers by far.

-FJ said...

Kawanio che Keeteru, Mr. AoW!

Alexander Münch said...

Show it to Mrs. AOW, she will love it!...

Mr. AOW said...

You are exactly right. Mrs. AOW loved that graphic!

Black Sheep said...

Laughter is the best medicine. My Granny was always saying that, among other homilies, but they were all true.