Time for humor & happy new year

(humor for the new year, with thanks to Big Bubba)

I pointed to two "old farts" across the bar from us and told my friend Herbie."That'll be us in ten years."

So he turned to me and said, "That's a mirror, you dummy."

True, dat!

Happy New Year, anyway.

Merry Christmas!

For the first time since the stroke I had in 2009, Mrs. AOW and I have a normal social calendar for Christmas!

We're busy, busy, busy - and it's a good kind of busy. So busy that I haven't had much time for blogging.

Life is for living.

Merry Christmas!

And Merry Christmas to Mysti, Cameo, and Amber - our three kitties. Maybe they'll watch this video:


Nah. They're too busy eating to watch videos.

I won the raffle!

No, not a car and not a vacation.

I won 10 lbs. of Kunzler's Bacon!

Kunzler has a great reputation.

We had bacon and eggs this morning for Sunday Breakfast. I'm sure that we'll be having lots of bacon for breakfasts now. And probably for lunch and dinner too.

Bacon was one of the two raffle prizes. The other prize was a computer tablet - or some such.

I'm glad that I won the bacon instead! I already have an iPad, which I use mostly to look up coin information and for listening to Blue Collar Radio.

Politically incorrect Christmas

Larry the Cable Guy (hat tip to Will):


One of my favorite ways to pass the time is to listen to Blue Collar Radio on my iPad. Laughter is the best medicine!

A bit of Christmas humor

(with thanks to Texas Fred for the first one)

An oldie but a goodie, and I once got a Christmas card like this:

Time for humor

Holiday humor, that is (thanks to Mustang, who emailed the joke to Mrs. AOW):

With the holidays upon us, I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.  As you know, some of us have been known to have brushes with local authorities from time to time on the way home after a social session with friends. 

Two days ago, I was out for an evening with friends.  I had several cocktails, some nice red wine, and later on in the evening, a couple of boilermakers.  I was not only feeling jolly, I was damn ripped.  That is when I did something that I’ve never done before.  I took a cab home. 

Sure enough, on my way home I encountered a police checkpoint, but since I was riding in a cab, they just waived it past the checkpoint and I arrived home without incident.  This was a real surprise to me since I had never driven a cab before.  I don’t know where I got it, and I don’t know what to do with it.  If anyone is looking for a good deal on a used cab, give me a call; it’s sitting in my garage.

It looks like Christmas here!

One of many photos Mrs. AOW took on Saturday

It snowed some yesterday, and our house looks even more like Christmas!  Outside and inside!  Mrs. AOW decorated the inside last week.

This photo doesn't begin to show what all Decorate A Vet has done for us on Saturday - and before then, too.

Mrs. AOW has explained a bit more at her site.

Over 100 people were here on Saturday to bring us a Merry Christmas. I was even interviewed by two different local TV channels!  But I look like an old man in front of that camera.

Well, I am an old man!

But Saturday was a great day.  Too bad that the Decorate A Vet dinner banquet planned for yesterday had to be canceled because of the icy roads.  Maybe they'll reschedule it. The best part of Saturday was being around so many people.

From local news coverage here in the D.C. area this morning (graphic added by AOW):

Ballsey Biscuits

Down in the cul-de-sac lives an English Bull Boxer. His given name is Balls.

I call him Ballsey.

He's very friendly.

Definitely not a fighting dog!

And he never leaves his property.  He never barks either!

But he sees me coming down the street, he dances around, wags his tail, and whines until I get up close to him in his driveway.

Ballsey looks a lot like this - except that he wears an electronic collar:

He stays inside most of the time.

When the weather is nice, I ride my scooter down the street and give Ballsey as many dog biscuits that I can carry in the basket of my scooter.

Ballsey hates the cold, so he's not outside much this time of year.

I wish that we had a dog.

Wise man

Something to keep in mind when you're Christmas shopping for gifts for like-minded family and friends!

Happy Thanksgiving!

The way it used to be:

This year, for the first time since Mrs. AOW and I got married in 1972, we'll be spending Thanksgiving alone.

I'm not bitching! Not really.

Veterans helping veterans

See Mrs. AOW's post today!

Time for trivia

1. What is the full name of Cap’n Crunch, the cartoon cereal mascot?

2. How many guests can be served in the White House’s state dining room?

3. How many volts of electricity can an electric eel generate?

4. How did Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gargarin return to earth after becoming the first man in space in 1961?

5. Who coined the phrase skim milk?

Answers:

Obamacare dental plan

Dentures cost a small fortune.

Wheelchair van adventures

Friday afternoon, Mrs. AOW dropped me off at the local VFW while it was still daylight. Since her eye surgery last month, she's not ready yet to do any driving after dark. Too bad that we're not still on daylight savings time.

Anyway, our local VFW is on a bit of a slope.  This was our first van trip there, and Mrs. AOW picked a drop off point that wasn't too steep.

But apparently it was too steep!

Or else I was going down the ramp too fast.

Time for humor

Received in email from Mrs. AOW's lifelong friend:

Pelosi declared saint by Catholic Church

Last Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D.C, an aide to Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral in D.C. He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day's Mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.

The Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Pelosi's views.

Pelosi's aide then said, "Look, I'll write a check here and now for a donation of $10,000 to your church if you'll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint."

The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."

As Pelosi's aide promised, Pelosi appeared for the Sunday worship and seated herself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle. As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Pelosi was present.

The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, "While Congresswoman Pelosi's presence is probably an honor to some, the woman is not numbered among my personal favorite personages. Some of her views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other issues.

Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using her wealth to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both In Washington and in California. The woman is simply not to be trusted."

The Cardinal concluded, "But, when compared with President Obama, Pelosi is a saint!"

Ban nerf guns?

Another crazy story:

Toy nerf guns — the weapon of choice for students participating in Missouri State University’s semi-annual “Humans vs. Zombies” live-action game — may be the latest casualty of irrational anti-gun hysteria at American universities....

After I heard last week, that there is a rain tax on property owners in Maryland, I decided that we really do live in a mad, mad world.

According to the Executive Director at the Chesapeake Bay Foundation:

“All residents of maryland are a pollution source.”

Veterans Day

Mrs. AOW and I will go to a remembrance ceremony is the weather isn't bad.

Cats and dogs

From Adrienne's Corner:

Nightstand project

My nightstand is a hospital table and a cluttered mess!

My iPad is buried in there. Somewhere.

Another coin show this weekend

I don't have as many prep notes as usual this time.

But a couple of friends have commissioned me to buy selected items for them.

If I can even find those items!

Silver and gold prices are down, so many dealers may not be willing to part with certain items in their inventory.

It will be a relief to be out and about if only for one day.  We've been real shut in here since Mrs. AOW's eye surgery back on October 2.   She's still miserable, but isn't letting on.  When she can help letting on, that is.  I know that she's still in quite a bit of pain and very, very tired. She was going to go to the coin show with me, but I'm not sure that she's up to it.

Happy Halloween!

I really miss not being able to carve a Halloween pumpkin.

In my day, I carved some doozies!

My favorite season

Two more great graphics by Stogie:

I do miss driving our Mustang convertible. I haven't driven in during the fall since 2008. Bummer!

Mrs. AOW and I used to take in the fall foliage by cruisin' in the Mustang with the top down!

Today is my birthday, but because of Mrs. AOW's eye troubles, we will probably not get out of the house at all today.

Time for humor

Worth a thousand words and all that:

No doubt!

Besides, the Redskins play in Maryland, and the team's owner lives in Maryland, too.

Troubles Here

Mrs. AOW has a detached retina - a very bad thing to have!  It's a terrible operation!

She's not talking about all this at her blog because she's too busy getting ready for tomorrows's operation.  It's major surgery - the first time she's ever had such a long operation.

She really doesn't want to talk about this terrible thing at her blog.

When things settle down, she might post about it there. Maybe.

This is what the operation will be like:


Mrs. AOW's friend Sharon is staying here to be Mrs. AOW's caregiver.  Sharon will take me to the hospital so that I can be there in the waiting room and see Mrs. AOW as soon as possible after surgery.

Like I said, "Troubles here."  Mrs. AOW won't be blogging for a while!

Who knew?

Penthouse magazine went bankrupt about 10 days ago.

FriendFinder Networks took over the magazine back in 2003.

Now FriendFinder has gone belly up, too.

Time for humor

With thanks to Big Bubba, who emailed me this joke:

A fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.  All the typical answers came up - fireman, mechanic, businessman, car salesman... and so forth.

However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied, "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Justin aside. 

"Is that really true about your father?"

"No," the boy said.  "He works for the Democratic National Committee and helped to get Obama elected, but it's too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids."

Unreal!

How absurd!

How ignorant!

Shooting Victim’s Bleeding Mistaken For Menstruation

Finally! The right move!

In Arkansas:


In the video, there are some people who don't get it about 9/11. I'll never understand those people!

Some people will try anything

Brave or foolish?

I say foolish! Even if he is a specialist in "cluster balloons."

There are safer ways to cross the Atlantic.

At least he's attached to the balloons in a lifeboat this time - instead of in an office chair:

On previous flights Trappe travelled on an office chair suspended by the balloons. On this trip, he is travelling inside a small yellow lifeboat. "If I touch down on water then the attempt will be over as it will be impossible to take off again, but the boat will keep me alive," he said.

Our new van

Friday evening, the van with the ramp arrived! It's not new, but it's new to us!

It's a 2007 Dodge Caravan SXT with less than 25,000 miles on it.

Two of the features that I decided our van must have so that I can get in and out by myself: power ramp and power sliding doors.  I left the rest up to Mrs. AOW.  She made sure to get a van with a CD player.

Mrs. AOW can drive like a bat out of hell! On our first trip out, she took a corner way too fast and flipped me off the scooter and onto the van's floor.

It wasn't all her fault! I should have been hanging on! After all, I'm the one who insisted that we didn't have to secure the ramp to the floor gizmos.

We went to a car cruise-in last night.  Mrs. AOW didn't dread the outing this time because there will be no more lifting that scooter out of the trunk of the Crown Vic.

In a few days, Mrs. AOW will be posting some of the photos that she took at her own site.

Having this van means that I won't be shut in the house so much of the time.  A big expense - but worth it.  We hope. 

Road trip this summer!

Trivia quiz

1. What is the average age of a first-time grandparent in the U.S.?

2. Where did the idea for the first rubber swim fins originate?

3. When it comes to hybrid dogs, what breeds are crossed to create a Chiweenie? How about a Cock-A-Mo? Or a Scoodle?

4. Which state was the first in the U.S. to establish Labor Day as a legal holiday?

5. What animal is pictured on bottles of Yellow Tail wine?

Answers:

9/11

I still shudder when I remember this:

And just a few years later, America elected a man named "HUSSEIN" as President!

My neurologist

An excellent doctor and drop dead gorgeous!

She approves of my outings because her motto is "Life is for living." She likes my jokes too.

I have an appointment for a checkup tomorrow.  I get these checkups once every 6 months.

Mrs. AOW doesn't have to go with me.  I can manage on my own.

Another outing last night

I overdid it at the VFW last night!

It will take me days to recover.

But I had a wonderful time with the guys. And Mrs. AOW got a break too. So it's all good.

Is Obama capable of telling the truth?

What will Congress do? Go to war?

A Lonely Time

Mrs. AOW returns to her teaching year today. It takes me a couple of weeks to get adjusted to being alone most of the day for three days in a row for months on end.

I miss her when she isn't here!

My therapy ended last Friday. I had over a year of therapy. What I'll miss most now is not getting out of the house 2-3 times a week.  I'll miss those breakfasts in the hospital cafeteria, too.

Today, though, Mrs. AOW has arranged for the paratransit van to take me to a friend's coin shop for the morning and part of the afternoon.  I'll probably eat lunch near the shop.

On Friday, my good friend Steve will take me to the VFW in the evening.

So, it might be an okay week here. I'll just have to make the best of the situation.

Vacation photo

Mrs. AOW took this photo without giving me any notice:

The picture was taken at Diamond Resorts Greensprings in Williamsburg - in the master bedroom.

This morning, we reserved a used minivan with a ramp. In a few weeks, the van will arrive here to our house for our final approval. We have to test it out before we make the purchase.

The world really has gone mad!

What a mess America is in!

Time for humor

With thanks to Big Bubba...

Crumpled Bills

With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, "Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?"

"No," said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

He took the crumpled twenty dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.

She then asked him, "Have you ever seen fifty dollars all crumpled up?"

"Uh... no, I haven't," he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.

She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties... and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

He took the crumpled fifty follar bill, and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.

"Now," she said, "have you ever seen $50,000 dolars all crumpled up?"

"No way!" he said, while obviously becoming even more aroused and excited, to which she replied.

"Go look in the garage."

Vacation!

One of the homeschool families gave Mrs. AOW and me a vacation for an end of the school year teacher present.  How cool is that?

This will be our first vacation since I had my stroke in 2009.

Mrs. AOW will load my scooter into the Crown Vic's trunk, and off we'll go for some r&r.

One of Mrs. AOW blogging friends will be meeting us at our destination.

Forget blogging during vacation! I have some serious partying to do!

Time for humor

With thanks to FreeThinke:

A prominent nutritionist was addressing a large audience at the Mayo Clinic....

"The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High transfat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the long term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

But, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and most of us have, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

After several seconds of quiet, a 70-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."

This will be my new joke to tell at the VFW on Friday night, when I go to the pool tournament!

By the way, my occupational therapist has made me a new device so that I can play pool with only one hand. I need lots of practice, though.

Definitely a miracle!

Mustang recently posted one of the best military stories I've ever heard.

Read Marine Survives 3-mile Fall.

A miracle like that doesn't just happen!

Russian Road Adventures

In Russia, dash cams are required by law.

Take a look at the video (emailed to Mrs. AOW by Mustang):

Talk about having a bad day!

"Dog Eats Paralyzed Man’s Testicle As He Sleeps"

Not a Pit Bull.

Not a Rottweiler.

Not a Doberman.

It was a dog-ette!

The world is a dangerous place if you sleep naked!

This Weekend

I haven't been thinking much about blogging lately because I'm getting ready to go to another coin show.  I always study up for weeks in advance, and that's what I've been doing lately. 

I have pages of notes for this trip to the coin show.

I've been doing a lot of research because a couple of my friends have bankrolled me to make some buys for them.  As a former coin dealer, I still can get the dealer's discount when I make purchases at these coin shows.  Plus, and I hate to say it, a man with a mobility device gets treated more fairly by the dealers.

Maybe I can make some good buys for myself too!  But right now, the bid/ask for precious metals is low, so lots of dealers are in too deep and won't sell at the new lower prices.

The paratransit van will pick me up before the sun rises, and I'll stay at the coin show all day long.  For almost 3 years after my stroke, Mrs. AOW had to go to the coin show with me because of bathrooming issues.  Now I can manage on my own!  Except that I fall in the john once in a while.  The guys at the coin show come to pick me up when I do fall; I call them from my cell phone, which I always wear in a special pouch around my neck

Wish me luck so that I can make some good buys - for my friends and for myself.  Now is a good time to invest!

The Western Channel (#2)

Every Sunday night back in the day, the whole family gathered 'round.

 I fixed the popcorn WITH REAL BUTTER, and we all sat down to watch just as the theme music started:

Award!

Not sure if this award really counts. Mrs. AOW nominated me, and I made her take dictation and type up this post too!

1. Display the award logo on your blog.

2. Link back to the person who nominated you.

3. Answer 7 questions decided by your nominator.

4. Nominate (no limit of nominations) other bloggers for this award and link back to them.

5. Notify those bloggers of the award requirements.


Here are the questions that Mrs. AOW asked me to answer:

1. Other than a parent or a Divinity, who -- living or not -- has most influenced your life?

My father-in-law.

2. What is your favorite movie and why? If you're not a fan of film, what is your favorite book and why?

"Summer of '42" because it's about a young boy having his first affair with an older woman.

3. If you could be any animal, what kind of animal would you like to be?

An eagle.

4. Whom would you nominate for President and Vice President in 2016?

Rudy Giuliani and Sarah Palin.

5. What is your dream vacation?

Monument Valley.

6. When a new day dawns and you first access your computer on that new day, which site(s) do you visit first?

Woodsterman and Mohave Rat and Always On Watch.

7. What is the biggest regret of your life?

Having a stroke.

I nominate Mohave Rat and Woodsterman.

Nominees, here are your 7 questions:

1. What is your all time favorite joke?

2. What United States coin, past or present, is your favorite design and why?

3. What is your favorite ultimate car or motorcycle and why?

4.  What era of music is your favorite and why?

5. What is your favorite brand of beer or other alcoholic beverage?

6. What is your favorite dessert?

7. What life achievement are you most proud of and why?

If I didn't nominate you, you can answers the questions too - here or at your own web site. Hahaha.

Obama's "leadership"

This is what it amounts to:

The Western Channel

Having a very hot summer here and shut in a lot more than usual, so I've been watching The Western Channel a lot. I grew up watching a lot of those old TV Westerns. Good stuff.

One show that I get to see Monday-Friday is "Paladin."


TV shows today have lousy theme songs. Well, except for "Two and a Half Men."

How's that workin' out for ya?

Have Obama supporters in Detroit learned a lesson? I doubt it!

Settle down!

From Stogie, who made the scooter graphic on my sidebar:

Another reason not to like Muslims

A friend of mine walks his dog every day. And guess what? Every Muslim who sees that dog looks daggers at the dog!

Fill your yard with dogs - and pigs! Muslim repellant!

A Bible verse for Obama

Let his days be few; and let another take his office. - Psalm 109:8

Time for humor

Warning! Strong language!

And one of my favorite "church" jokes:

D.C. fireworks finale 2013

Something new in this year's display:


YouTube says:

Fun with match sticks

Armenian boxer Bagrat Grigoryan has an interesting hobby:

To make a St. Nicholas Church which is situated on Aktobe he needed 26 days, 34 000 matches, 4 litres of glue and 3 litres of lacquer.

More photos here.

Happy birthday, America!

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